/b/ - Random

AM feels like a consolation prize and it's depressing.

I can’t cope with the feeling that arranged marriage is just a second chance for guys who weren’t desirable enough to find love on their own. I see so many people dating, falling in love, and choosing their partners, while guys like me are left waiting until our families step in to "arrange" someone for us. It feels like a backup plan—like we weren’t good enough to be anyone’s first choice.

What really eats at me is the insecurity—does she actually want me, or is she just settling for stability after having had her fun? Would she have ever chosen me in her younger days when she had options? Or am I just the safe, responsible guy she’s marrying because time and society pushed her into it? It’s hard not to feel like a last resort.

I know people say arranged marriages work out in the long run, but that doesn’t change how it feels in the moment. I don’t want to be someone’s obligation or compromise. I see guys who effortlessly attract women, who get to experience love, passion, and being wanted. Meanwhile, I feel like I’m just being assigned to someone out of necessity.

And a question for women here—do you have lower standards for marriage compared to dating? It really seems like women enjoy dating more than marriage, going for excitement and attraction first, and then later "settling down" with someone safe and stable. Is that really how it works? Because if so, it’s depressing to think that marriage is just the phase where men go from being wanted to being tolerated.

This isn’t some self-pitying post, I just feel terrible and depressed thinking about all this. It’s been weighing on me heavily, and I just wanted to put it out there.

(User banned - jhantgpt spam)