I hit a new low today, jerked off to abusive cucked chats

I wanna kill myself at this point

reyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I knew i had weird fetishes and kinks, and it was going all fine since years, but nowadays i keep on sinking deeper and deeper,

I think i have sexual masochism disorder or is it just that i have given up on real life due to daily humiliations and its my brain coping in this manner about it