I remember being a 17 year old being yelled at by my dad because I was not scoring well enough in JEE meme exam mocks, he literally said "go to the nearest fucking lake and kill yourself, go drown yourself, my life is cursed because of a child like you." My mom was very emotionally distant too at that time...

They forgot that right when I got into a decent college, I didn't. It still hurts me how shallow they are. They don't even remember how they treated me before, it all returned to baseline once I reached college.

Now that I got a stupid 8lpa job in my final year, their affection towards me has increased like crazy. They feel like completely different and opposite to the people I had seen at 17. Not even close to baseline. This is what upsets me, they're not just proud that I made it, they feel happy because they can kang about it to the relatives.

They constantly say shit like "you've increased our izzat in society/ see how your cousins dragged your uncle out of poor income/ you are our only hope in life to get rich/ you must make us proud members of this 'soyciety'", always trying to make sure I remain their stable retirement plan, making me a docile little jeet who exists just for his parents.

They got no fucking empathy, they are just robots brainwashed by the society. But I still can't let go of the feelings 17 year old me had...

They feel too shallow, and I'm sure they'll treat me like they treated the 17 year old me if I become unemployed by some misfortune in the future

There's no "maa baap ka unconditional pyaar", it's all conditional, it is all because you are their only pawn which they can use to rise upwards on the social hierarchy.

As a man your worth is solely determined by the resources and money you bring to the family. You don't get any love for just existing in jeetland. Their affection doesn't mean anything, it's a reaction to the wealth I can hoard from them.

I'll use this general thread to update the blackpills I encounter irl in my life